Keep The Faith

Today, in the clinical trial that I am part of,  I took the last of my Cycle 1 medications. We now get 7 days off before beginning Cycle 2 on March 4 in Edmonton! We are #thankful ! The treatment is going well from the perspective of how I am feeling. There have been a few bumps along the path such as a night in the ER with fears of an infection or a dizzy (fainting?) spell that sat me on the floor in my bathroom for a period of time. Mostly however it has, if I may co-opt a well-known saying, been "side-effects by a thousand cuts." Heartburn, fatigue, back pain, bladder irritation, muscle cramps, upset stomach or bowels, irritability (okay, that one may just be me being a grumpy old man), poor sleep, etc. Even the combined effects of these "thousand cuts" is tolerable and again we are #thankful .  God has answered many prayers! We don't yet know if the treatments will have cumulative side effects that will become more noticeable in further chemo cycles. More im...

 A proverb that exists in many different African languages often appears in North America as: " It takes a village to raise a child."  As a lifelong educator I always appreciated that wisdom and was challenged to stay humble and to make sure I had my eyes, ears and heart tuned in to the others in the village. In this part of our life, we are being shaken out of our forgetfulness that this proverb is about more than nurturing kids.  As we have entered a new treatment protocol for relapsed myeloma, we have experienced life in a village. A beautiful village whose people encircle Kathy and I. We look around that circle and see family members, friends and neighbours. Our eyes meet with nurses and doctors whose compassion directs their knowledge and dedication. People from our past life in education and our journey through cities and churches reach out to give encouragement. Even some we have never met stand in this circle. Some are praying, others are thinking about us and som...

It is now one week until I begin treatment which I hope will again tame the monster named Myeloma. Last week I spent two days getting virtually every part of my body imaged and scanned. Fluids have been collected and analyzed. Consent forms have been signed. Each day that we get closer to this leg in the journey I find that I am ceding more of the real estate in my brain to what will happen next. Every day more minutes are given to thinking about: whether the drugs will work;  what happens if they don't?  how will I feel?  will the accompanying steroids alter my personality?  will Kathy have the stamina to be a caregiver again? what if... In part, that is good. Like an athlete getting ready for a game, I am psyching myself up. Steeling myself for the battle ahead.  But it very soon can become noise and disharmony translating into anxiety.  Worst of all it becomes unhealthy as I surrender too much space to those thoughts. Unhealthy because it crowds out what...