Keep The Faith

I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer. (I can hear you all saying, "Thanks for that, Captain Obvious! ").  When it comes to myeloma, my dullness becomes even more pronounced. Many people in my situation overheat their keyboards googling information, and wear out their doctors by asking questions. For me, that just doesn't work. Almost every time I have researched, attended a conference or read the latest newsletter from Myeloma Canada, I have found myself in the dark places of this disease. The places where you learn the incredible complexity of  blood and bone marrow cancer. The places where you see the catastrophic damage both the disease and the treatments do to your body. Dark places that end in death. You might be picturing an ostrich, bearing a striking resemblance to me, with his head firmly planted in the sand. You would not be completely wrong, but I think of it more as learning things on a "need to know" basis. The confirmation came this week of an

Generally I would be a guy who likes patterns and cycles in the natural world.  They are predictable and reliable.  The pattern that myeloma follows is starting to become real to me and, perhaps because there is nothing "natural" about it, I'm left with a knot in my stomach. We are doing okay now, but we are in the early/mid stages of another relapse. The timing has caught us a bit off guard but the fact that it is happening, like most patterns, is predictable Relapse. Treatment. Remission. Relapse. New treatment. Remission. Relapse.... Each remission is more difficult to obtain and usually lasts for less time. Eventually treatment options are exhausted and myeloma "wins." Our backs are not against the wall yet, but the need for a third line of treatment has come much sooner for us than we had hoped. Please say a prayer for Kathy and me, that this cycle not disorient us or cause us to lose faith but rather, has us living and loving well in each new day. Please p